


Letters to the Future

by mayahqrt



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Amnesia! Lucas, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist! Maya, F/M, Text Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15771243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayahqrt/pseuds/mayahqrt
Summary: Maya and Lucas broke up three years ago for unknown reasons, and Lucas moves back to Texas. An accident happens and Lucas loses his all of his memories. An email arrives, and everything changes.





	Letters to the Future

**March 21, 2018 2:22 PM**

**_peaches_ **

he’s back

he’s fucking back

**_honey_ **

who?? lucas?

he’s in new york?

**_peaches_ **

no, he sent an email

well, not really him. him from three years ago through one of those cliché letters to the future services

**_honey_ **

peaches… i’m so sorry. do you need me to come over?

**_peaches_ **

no, i’m fine. but he called me his _wife_ he meantto propose, and now? three years of silence.

we broke up three years ago, when he was about to propose. he didn’t even tell me why? he just packed his bags and left back to texas??

and this dumb “letters to the future service sends all these emotions crashing down right when i thought i was getting better

**_honey_ **

maya, i’m coming over ok? you shouldn’t be alone right now, and i definitely don’t know what you’re going through

lucas left his entire life in new york and while i’m sure he had his reasons, he’s an absolute asshole for doing that to you

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 2:22 pm March 21, 2015_

To: mayahart@gmail.com

Subject: my wife <3

Maya Hart,

wow, emails are formal. that felt weird, how about shortstack? that’s better.

shortstack,

this must be really weird, seeing this from me three years ago, but i saw this, and i _had_ to do it. call me an old texan soul, or whatever, but you know i’m a sucker for letters. i wrote this to tell you i love you, so fucking much, and you mean the world to me. right now, three years ago lucas is just your boyfriend. but hopefully, it’ll be fiancé in a couple weeks. and when you’re reading this, we better be married or else i’m kicking my own ass. darn, i had the intention of making this one of those sappy letters, but now i’m just rambling. better late than never though, so…

maya hart, you’re my favorite person in this universe, and wow was i blessed when we dated for 6 seconds on that subway, and now, it’s been two years (plus like 4 years of friendship). i love your eyes. wow those eyes. i love your hair. i love your creativity. i love your nicknames. you had me at “huckleberry” and i’ve been yours ever since.

all in all, i love you, maya hart with every part of me, and i really hope we’re married asap because as i said before, an old texan soul. have a wonderful day, i’ll see you after work (hopefully i’m employed yikes).

with all the love possible,

your huckleberry

Courtesy of _Letters to the Future,_ bringing back the art of timeless letters.

_received 2:22 pm March 21, 2018_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 2:22 pm March 21, 2018_

To: lucasfriar99@gmail.com

Subject: Letters to the Future

Lucas Friar,

This is a confirmation of the delivery of your email to Maya Hart on March 21, 2018, created on March 21, 2015. Thank you for using our service, and we hope to _bring back the art of timeless letters_.

Maya Hart,

wow, emails are formal. that felt weird, how about shortstack? that’s better.

shortstack,

this must be really weird, seeing this from me three years ago, but i saw this, and i _had_ to do it. call me an old texan soul, or whatever, but you know i’m a sucker for letters. i wrote this to tell you i love you, so fucking much, and you mean the world to me. right now, three years ago lucas is just your boyfriend. but hopefully, it’ll be fiancé in a couple weeks. and when you’re reading this, we better be married or else i’m kicking my own ass. darn, i had the intention of making this one of those sappy letters, but now i’m just rambling. better late than never though, so…

maya hart, you’re my favorite person in this universe, and wow was i blessed when we dated for 6 seconds on that subway, and now, it’s been two years (plus like 4 years of friendship). i love your eyes. wow those eyes. i love your hair. i love your creativity. i love your nicknames. you had me at “huckleberry” and i’ve been yours ever since.

all in all, i love you, maya hart with every part of me, and i really hope we’re married asap because as i said before, an old texan soul. have a wonderful day, i’ll see you after work (hopefully i’m employed yikes).

with all the love possible,

your huckleberry

Sincerely,

Letters to the Future

_received 2:22 pm March 21, 2018_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

**March 21, 2018 2:37 PM**

**_lucas_ **

hey zay? who is maya hart? do you know who that is?

**_zay_ **

shitt…

you don’t remember anything about her?? like nada?

**_lucas_ **

uhmmm… my memories haven’t been coming back, not since the accident six months ago…

**_zay_ **

i don’t know much about her, but let’s just say you and maya used to date and y’all had something special, but you moved back to texas for some reason. you wouldn’t tell me why

you were an emotional wreck, and then the accident

you talked about her a lot, every fucking day, and i’d never seen you so happy. but as i said, you left for some reason

what made you suddenly remember her name?

**_lucas_ **

this letter service,, i sent an email three years ago and it just arrived today and i can’t help but be curious, the email…

it seems so special like there’s something more and there’s a hole, five years of my like just gone where all these memories of new york are supposed to be

i can’t help but wonder what i was like… would it be cruel of me to reach out? ask if she could fill in some holes?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 21, 2018 5:52 PM**

**_lucas_ **

hi umm… is this maya hart? it’s lucas friar

**_shortstack_ **

you’re fucking joking, after three years the first thing you say is hi umm…

**_lucas_ **

i’m terribly sorry, but it isn’t like that. i wasn’t sure if this was your number, but guessing from the nickname,

you’re maya hart, my ex-girlfriend?

**_shortstack_ **

no shit sherlock

**_lucas_ **

i’m sorry if i caused you any pain, but my friend zay said you were my girlfriend of two years in new york, but i had suddenly moved back to texas three years ago

but i was in a car accident six months ago and lost all of my memories. zay was able to fill in most things from my childhood/ texas but new york is just a huge blank

i’m sorry to place this huge burden on you, but i think you’re my best shot at filling that hole

**_shortstack_ **

is this some sort of sick joke or prank?

**_lucas_ **

i really wish it was… but i wouldn’t do that, at least i hope the real me wouldn’t

**_shortstack_ **

shit, i

i’m so sorry, i didn’t know. that explains a bit, i guess?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 21, 2018 6:05 PM**

**_peaches_ **

he lost his fucking memories

he was in an accident and lost them. all of them, and he says i’m his best shot at getting them back

**_honey_ **

oh my god, maya… peaches are you ok??

**_peaches_ **

i don’t know I DON’T KNOW, what am i supposed to do? help him? relive the best moments of my life but also the most painful?

i think i’d break

but at the same time, i think i’d break if i didn’t help him. if i left a huge hole in his life, i can’t do that either

**_honey_ **

maya, you’re the strongest person i know, but i watched you cry yourself to sleep for weeks, do you think you can relive that?

**_peaches_ **

fuck. FUCK why does the world _hate_ me. why can’t i can’t over my stupid boyfriend and live my live

**_honey_ **

because you know he wasn’t just a boyfriend, just as he knows you weren’t just a girlfriend

i think it’s the universe’s way of pushing you two back together, no matter how screwed up it is

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 21, 2018 6:05 PM**

**_shortstack_ **

i’ll help you. of course i will

hart and friar take on the big apple, just like old times

**_lucas_ **

thank you so much, you don’t know what this means oddly enough, talking to you has an odd sense of familiarity, with your snarky attitude and overflowing sympathy

shit, sorry was that too much?

**_shortstack_ **

no, not at all. just a little… familiar

**_lucas_ **

well i booked a flight for tomorrow, i’ll be there around 12:30

see you soon, maya

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After three years, Maya Hart was going to see Lucas Friar for the first time. Three long, excruciating years later, yet while she waited at the airport, time couldn’t seem to pass by slower. The _hustle and bustle_ of New York City, they say. His flight was on time, landed at 12:30. It was currently 12:46, and the stream of arrivals had just begun to stream out of the gate.

_Fuck, it’s actually happening._

When he finally walked out, it was as if he never left. He was just coming back from a visit in Texas. He’d grin, and his eyes would light up. He’d open up his arms for Maya to run into, and he’d engulf her. She’d be _home_. She felt the urge to run. He grinned, but it was unfamiliar. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, and she knew he really was gone.

He greeted her with some cowboy joke he thought of on the plane, hoping to ease the tension, and she giggled. Then it clicked for him. _It’s Maya._ The sound was so familiar. He felt the most comfortable in his body than he ever did since the accident; he felt _at home_. A wave of warmth rushed through him, but it was closely followed by a gust of cold. He hated when that happened, feeling like a stranger in his own body. His brain didn’t know who he was, but every other part of him – his hands when he worked on the ranch, his heart when he heard Maya giggle – knew exactly who he was.

His face fell, and every inkling of hope she had that things would go back to normal, that they’d be the “power couple of the world” once again left as quickly as he left. After all, _hope is for suckers._

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 22, 2018 8:36 PM**

**_lucas_ **

thanks for showing me around maya, it really meant a lot to me. to

see where i lived, what i did for five years

**_shortstack_ **

the pleasure was mine, lucas i meant to ask when we were at topanga’s but i was scared to…

what’s amnesia like? not remembering anything?

**_lucas_ **

i think the best way i can describe it is feeling like a stranger in my own body, like my mind is clueless but my heart knows right where it’s at

the worst part is when i know i’m somewhere significant, but i don’t

well that and the killer headaches

**_shortstack_ **

shit that fucking sucks

**_lucas_ **

the universe works in mysterious ways, you know?

**_shortstack_ **

funny, that’s something riley always says

**_lucas_ **

who?

**_shortstack_ **

my bestfriend/soulmate/sister, you’ll meet her tomorrow! i didn’t wanna overwhelm you, just in case

**_lucas_ **

while we’re playing 20 questions, i was wondering in your studio, were those paintings of me?

**_shortstack_ **

ummm….

kinda embarrassing but yea, they were

**_lucas_ **

well, you’re quite the artist, hart. they’re full of emotion and pain?

we must have been quite the couple

**_shortstack_ **

i guess you can say that

**_lucas_ **

hey, maya. thank you so much for this. i can’t imagine the number of old wounds i’m opening up. how will i ever repay you?

**_shortstack_ **

not with tickets to the rodeo. just a heads up

but it’s the least i can do, my year has nothing on yours

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 22, 2018 9:02 PM**

**_honey_ **

how was lucas today?

**_peaches_ **

he’s still so… perfect

he’s still a gentleman, holding open doors for everyone and constantly thanking me and apologizing he’s there but he isn’t and i don’t know what hurts more

**_honey_ **

does he know? what happened at topanga’s?

**_peaches_ **

no, i tried to keep it all sunshine and rainbows, taking a page from rileytown

**_honey_ **

your best friend really is the smartest isn’t she?

**_peaches_ **

she really is

hey riles? do you mind bringing everyone to topanga’s tomorrow?

i was hoping lucas could meet the gang

**_honey_ **

of course, they’ll all be there, i don’t care how busy they are

**_peaches_ **

just make sure they don’t hover over him. you too, don’t go all mom

and fuss over him, he’s not a big baby

**_honey_ **

yada yada, it’s not my fault you guys can’t take care of yourselves

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lucas met with Maya for breakfast at the Nighthawk Diner. He decided to navigate his own way through the city, hoping to get a feel for his former life here in New York. It was clear from the start that Maya knew Lucas better than he knew himself. While he was still looking at the menu, she already ordered for him out of habit, which she apologized for, but it was what he had wanted anyways. She warmed the butter for the pancakes up in her hands for him, which is what his mama always did for him back home. She seemed to know everything, while he was still figuring out who exactly he is or was.

It was another day of exploring the city, exploring their favorite spots, with Maya pointing out their favorite spots. It was all new, but Lucas could immediately see why they loved it so much at each spot. Far away from all the tourist traps, and each with its hidden quirks.

They visited a park near Maya’s neighborhood. A quiet haven, within the large city. They sat side by side on the yellow plastic playground slide.

“We’d sit here for hours. Sometimes, just to talk, other times just to savor each other’s silence and presence. During the summer, there’d be sudden downpours, and those were our favorite because this roof above us saved us from all rain. There was something about the rain that was comforting, and after, we’d head over to Topanga’s for some hot cocoa regardless of how hot it was.”

“Huh, I always knew there was something familiar about the rain. After the accident, the days I felt the most _me_ were when it was raining.”

“Well now you have your answer. Look at us, Holmes and Watson piecing back together your life.”

They went to Topanga’s after for some hot cocoa. Just like old times.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 23, 2018 10:26 AM**

**_peaches_ **

riles where are you guys?? lucas and i have been here for

like half an hour

**_honey_ **

omg sorry, farkle _had_ to finish up some project he was working on and then there were so many people on the subway because of the storm

it’s all a mess but we are like a block away, be there in a few

**_peaches_ **

good i’m running out of excuses for you three and my mom has resorted to telling stories about my embarrassing childhood as if she didn’t have enough fun doing so the first time around… sigh…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“We’re here! We’re here!” Riley practically screamed as she ran through the door, trying to escape from the rain. Farkle and Smackle followed closely behind, all soaking wet. It wasn’t the perfect introduction that Maya had hoped for, but their group was far from perfect, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maya doesn’t know why she was _so_ nervous about them meeting Lucas once again. They had all been friends before. What would be so different this time? All her fears that Riley would pester Lucas with questions about his accident, or that Farkle would let his distaste for Lucas after he _broke_ Maya by leaving, or that Smackle would drop random facts about amnesia were all quelled, as they bonded over old memories.

“So let me get this straight. Riley, you were my ex-girlfriend in eighth and ninth grade. Farkle, you were my best friend who used to date Smackle, but now is dating Riley. Smackle, you were my best friend who frequently flirted with me. And Maya was my girlfriend in senior year of high school until sophomore year of college, then we broke up?”

“Don’t forget, you also confessed your undying love for me one time. It was cute and all, but at the time, my heart belonged to Farkle only,” Smackle commented.

“Smackle!” Riley and Farkle exclaimed, warning her she may have stepped over a line, but Lucas just chuckled. He appreciated them not treating him like a fragile object, and he could definitely see why he surrounded himself with all these amazing people. They were unconditionally caring, were always supportive of each other, and had a bond unlike any other. To think Lucas was once a part of this amazing group seemed unbelievable.

But the question that he could never shake was _why did he leave?_ He had the perfect group of friends and the seemingly perfect girlfriend. _Why did he drop everything and leave?_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 23, 2018 9:21 PM**

**_lucas_ **

i had a really fun time today, as always

**_shortstack_ **

i’m glad! do you think it’s helping with your memories and stuff?

**_lucas_ **

it still feels like someone is telling me a story rather than me remembering it, but i haven’t been able to remember anything since the accident

**_shortstack_ **

that sucks… i’m sorry we had to end the night early because of

your headache

**_lucas_ **

tell me about it haha, and there’s nothing to apologize for

it isn’t your fault

**_shortstack_ **

i know, i know it’s just…

it’s just that i feel like if i were a better girlfriend or enough to make you stay, you wouldn’t have gone through all this crap and you’d be perfectly _fine_

**_lucas_ **

maya, you can’t live your life through “what if’s” from what i’ve seen, you’re an incredible woman, and i can’t find a reason for me to ever have a reason to just leave you

i know i’ve only been talking to you for a couple days but it’s been great. you’ve made me feel the best i’ve been since the accident, and i really hope you realize whatever happened, i know in my gut that it had nothing to do with you

**_shortstack_ **

i- lucas…

thank you, it means a lot

**_lucas_ **

any time, maya

don’t forget! i owe you tickets to the rodeo!

**_shortstack_ **

i don’t know what’s worse the fact that you’re still the same as before, just without the memories or the fact that this is all a reminder of what we used to have

it’s nothing to apologize for, but just something that’s been on my mind

**_lucas_ **

i know you said not to apologize but it’s impossible because i don’t think i could imagine the pain amnesia me or real me has put you through

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 23, 2018 10:04 PM**

**_maya papaya_ **

farkle, is it insane that i still love him?? it’s been three years for fuck’s sake but it feels like he never left

**_genius boy_ **

as much as i loath the guy for what he did to you, no it’s not insane. he was your first love and the love of your life

**_maya papaya_ **

it still hurts and i don’t know if it has amplified because of the resurfaced memories or because we aren’t together

fuck farkle i need help

**_genius boy_ **

no maya, you don’t. we’re all still here ok? we love you no matter what. we’ll get through this just like we did the past three years

**_maya papaya_ **

:(( i love you farkle

**_genius boy_ **

love you too maya

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 2:08 pm March 29, 2015_

To: mayahart@gmail.com

Subject: i’m sorry

shortstack,

i don’t think i’ll have the right to call you that after what i did, or will do so…

maya,

today, you were offered an amazing opportunity to travel the world, just for your art. to go to places you’ve _dreamed_ of going to since you were a child. i’ve seen seven-year-old maya’s drawings of these places, and i don’t want to be the person holding you back.

_so, i’ve decided to let you go._

this might be a cowardly decision, me explaining myself to you three years later. no, I know it’s a cowardly decision, but i don’t think i can tell you why i’m letting you go without giving into whatever you ask of me. because i know, if you ask me to go with you, i would. in a heartbeat. i’d drop out of college for you. and i know if i ask you to stay, you would. i don’t want us to be that couple, in which being together makes us sad because we love each other too much to admit the truth. because i love you, so so much. i don’t even know how to properly express it.

leaving you might be, no. _will_ be the hardest thing i’ll ever have to do. it’s taking all i have to write this letter, and i don’t know how i’ll do it in real life. hell i was planning to propose. but, timing never really has been on our side huh?

i’m setting you free to travel the world. you’ve spent all this time trying to let riley meet her world, but now, it’s time for you to meet yours. sure, you’ve made new york yours, but now, you can make the entire world yours.

i love you, maya penelope hart. so so much. i don’t think i’ll ever stop, but i’m doing this for you.

_i love you._

see you later, partner.

 ~~your huckleberry~~ lucas

Courtesy of _Letters to the Future,_ bringing back the art of timeless letters.

_received 2:08 pm March 29, 2018_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 2:08 pm March 29, 2018_

To: lucasfriar99@gmail.com

Subject: Letters to the Future

Lucas Friar,

This is a confirmation of the delivery of your email to Maya Hart on March 29, 2018, created on March 29, 2015. Thank you for using our service, and we hope to _bring back the art of timeless letters_.

shortstack,

i don’t think i’ll have the right to call you that after what i did, or will do, so…

maya,

today, you were offered an amazing opportunity to travel the world, just for your art. to go to places you’ve _dreamed_ of going to since you were a child. i’ve seen seven-year-old maya’s drawings of these places, and i don’t want to be the person holding you back.

_so, i’ve decided to let you go._

this might be a cowardly decision, me explaining myself to you three years later. no, I know it’s a cowardly decision, but i don’t think i can tell you why i’m letting you go without giving into whatever you ask of me. because i know, if you ask me to go with you, i would. in a heartbeat. i’d drop out of college for you. and i know if i ask you to stay, you would. i don’t want us to be that couple, in which being together makes us sad because we love each other too much to admit the truth. because i love you, so so much. i don’t even know how to properly express it.

leaving you might be, no. _will_ be the hardest thing i’ll ever have to do. it’s taking all i have to write this letter, and i don’t know how i’ll do it in real life. hell i was planning to propose. but, timing never really has been on our side huh?

i’m setting you free to travel the world. you’ve spent all this time trying to let riley meet her world, but now, it’s time for you to meet yours. sure, you’ve made new york yours, but now, you can make the entire world yours.

i love you, maya penelope hart. so so much. i don’t think i’ll ever stop, but i’m doing this for you.

_i love you._

see you later, partner.

 ~~your huckleberry~~ lucas

Sincerely,

Letters to the Future

_received 2:08 pm March 29, 2018_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 29, 2018 2:22 PM**

**_shortstack_ **

dont…

please don’t try to explain yourself

**_lucas_ **

i’m sorry maya, i really am. i had no idea

maya?

**March 29, 2018 4:17 PM**

**_lucas_ **

maya?

**March 29, 2018 5:02 PM**

**_lucas_ **

MAYA?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 29, 2018 5:46 PM**

**_riley_ **

lucas? is maya with you?

she was supposed to come over for dinner forty minutes ago, and she’s not answering my calls

**_lucas_ **

uhmmm, no. something happened riley, and she hasn’t been replying to me either

i thought she only wasn’t talking to me though…

**_riley_ **

why? what happened?

**_lucas_ **

[screenshot of letter sent]

**_riley_ **

ok… now i’m really worried

fuck maya shouldn’t be alone, i’m gonna go look for her

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 29, 2018 5:53 PM**

**_lucas_ **

i’m starting to worry, please just let me know you’re ok

maya, please

riley asked me where you are, just anything please

shit maya, i’m gonna go look for you

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lucas has looked just about everywhere he could think of – Topanga’s, Maya’s studio, Riley’s. Maya Hart was nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, Lucas was running around the streets of New York, and to add onto his burden, it’s pouring rain.

_It’s raining._

Lucas practically jumps at this realization. _Of course, it’s raining._ He rushes over to their park, praying and hoping he’d see Maya’s small figure scrunched up on top of the yellow slide underneath the red canopy. Millions of thoughts were rushing through his head, yelling at him for allowing this to happen, thinking about what to say. But when he finally approached the park and saw her small figure sitting at the bottom of the slide, allowing the rain to soak through all her clothing, his heart dropped. _He did this._

He slowly approached her, trying not to scare her and testing his boundaries. Maya looked up with puffy eyes and tears mixed with raindrops streaming down her face. She looked so fragile, so little, so _broken._ Lucas didn’t know what he could say. There was nothing he could say to ever make up for what _he_ did to her. He stood there, frozen. All he wanted to do was envelope her in his warmth, but he knew that was too much.

Maya had spent the last couple of hours wallowing in her thoughts, alternating through phases of anger and heartache. Anger at the fact that he left, when he promised he never would. Anger at the fact that he didn’t have faith they’d be able to work through anything the universe threw at them. Anger at the fact that he would use such a cowardly way to explain himself. Now, all she felt was the shards of rain cutting at her skin when she saw him. Each shard, cutting away at her until she _broke._

“Lucas… I want to hate you. I should hate you. But I don’t think I could ever find it in myself to hate you. I didn’t sit underneath the red canopy because I didn’t want to ruin any memories we shared together, because as much as I try to avoid the thought of you and run away from you, the universe _always_ brings you back –”

“I’ve spent these last three years running and running, and fuck, I’m so tired. When you messaged me, my entire world stopped spinning. I heard from _you_ after three years _,_ and every memory of you came crashing down. I thought I could help you, and I really did. But being with you this past week has brought back the best parts of my life, but I also just relived the worst three years of my life. While you don’t remember the old you, I do. I love you so fucking much, Lucas Friar. But I don’t think I can do this anymore, be with you and pretend everything is fine when it’s now. I wish you the best of luck with your recovery, but for now, it’s _goodbye.”_

Maya walked away, knowing it may be the last time she would see Lucas. He wanted to say something, to interrupt her, but he knew he already said too much in the letter, and there was nothing to explain. The letter laid all the facts out on a silver platter, and Lucas didn’t even have a clear idea of what happened. He scrambled up the yellow slide and crouched under the red roof. Watching the rain drip down the roof and down the yellow slide, he couldn’t help but let the tears fall. He lost the only thing that made him feel full after the accident, and there was nothing he could do. He closed his eyes, letting the sounds of the city and the pouring rain take him away from this hell of a reality.

_It was raining, and they sat on top of the slide, legs in a tangled mess. Maya sat there sketching something, Lucas didn’t know what. She always kept it a secret until she finished her masterpiece. Sometimes he could catch a glimpse of the sketch, but when she did catch him trying to steal a glimpse, she’d snap, “Hey! Eyes on your own paper, Huckleberry.” Today, he didn’t try to steal a glimpse because he was enraptured by something much more complex, much more beautiful._

_Out of nowhere, Lucas broke their comfortable silence. “I love you, Maya.” They’ve said it before as just friends, but this time, it meant so much more to him._

_“I know. I love you too, Huckleberry.”_

His eyes snapped open. He remembered.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**March 30, 2018 11:33 AM**

**_maya_ **

did you land safely in texas?

**_lucas_ **

yep, zay picked me up and we’re on our way back to the ranch

thank you, maya, so so so much for all you did for me. i’m sorry it ended this way, but thank you

**_maya_ **

yea, of course. keep me updated about your memories ok?

**_lucas_ **

will do, maya

**_maya_ **

goodbye lucas

**_lucas_ **

goodbye maya.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

His memories were finally coming back, slowly but surely. They came in stages, or waves per say. Sometimes in his dreams, other times during his daily routine. He was living two lives at once, and he was exhausted. His headaches weren’t getting any better, in fact they were occurring more frequently. It was a constant state of confusion, trying to distinguish between what was reality and what was a memory, and he was fed up with feeling so _powerless_. Fed up with being in the unknown. Fed up with being coddled like a child.

He wanted to scream out in frustration. He thought regaining his memories would rid himself of his confusion, but instead of being in the dark, his mind was constantly trying to piece together the entire timeline of his life. The doctors said this was normal, but _normal_ isn’t forgetting everything about your life. _Normal_ is living with memories, being able to reminisce about your childhood. _Normal_ is living without the pain of headaches and waves of flashbacks.

Sometimes, he really wonders if all this pain is worth remembering his old life.

“New York… Rougher than Tombstone the Bull?” asked Zay.

“Oh yea, just about fifty times rougher, Zay. You have no idea how hard I tried to hold on.”

“Do you think you’d go back any time soon? To your old life?”

“I’d love to, but I don’t know if I’ll be welcome. I’ve been messaging Maya here and there, but there’s a very clear boundary between friends and lovers. She keeps her distance, and I’m pretty sure some part of her resents me for what _I_ did to her.”

“Well, she told you she loved you, right? Plus, she never stopped loving you, so… I think she’s keeping a safe distance for you to recover and get your shit together. Because let’s face it. You’ve been quite a mess lately.”

“Can you blame me? I’ve been back in Texas for four months, and I still don’t have even a half of my memories back. My relationship with Maya is still a blur, with pieces here and there. My life in Texas is merely an outline.”

“Hey, I’m not blaming you for nothin’. Just stating facts here.”

The two sat there watching the campfire flicker under the night sky. It was a clear night, with the stars twinkling as bright as ever. Whenever he wanted to escape from his frustrations, he always came here, and it made him feel at peace.

“Do you love her? Maya?”

“I think. No, _I know_. It’s the only thing I’ve been sure of since I began to regain my memories.”

“Then I think you know what you need to do. It doesn’t have to be now or any time soon, for that matter. Just some time. Take it from a person who chased Vanessa for years. You’ll wanna hold on. _Tight._ ” On that note, Zay stood up and left, leaving Lucas to wallow in his own thoughts.

Lucas watched the fire crackle and light the area around him. With the crickets chirping and leaves rustling, he felt calmed. He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the sounds of nature.

 _“Look, if I had feelings for you, don’t you think I’d come right out and say it? Well I don’t, so what I do say is ‘_ ha hurrr– _.”_

_In that moment, Lucas didn’t know what to do, because the girl he’s liked for so long is finally scrambling for a defense. The girl who’s usually so confident in her snarky comments is at a loss for words. The girl with a fire burning within her is finally faltering. So he decides to test his own theory that maybe, maybe these feelings for the blonde beauty, aren’t unrequited and one-sided._

_And so, he cuts her off by cupping her face within his two hands. He hears her suck in a breath, and they’re so_ close _. Her eyes are wide open and laced with fear. He knows they’re in dangerous territory, being so close that each breath warms the air between them. He could_ feel _her heart going “clippity clop”, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he feels their lips brush each other’s._

_He pulls back, fearing he stepped too far, but Maya pulls his collar down towards her, and their lips meet. Not in some fiery clash, but in a gentle meeting for the first time. Soft, like an introduction. A bit awkward at first, but once they find their rhythm, two parts of a melody finally find their perfect harmony._

_He’s always admired the fire that burned within Maya. It was fierce and ceaseless when needed, but also warm and comforting when needed. At this moment, her fire spread, enveloping them both, and they burned even brighter together._

As usual with memories of Maya, he was disappointed with them ending and having to face reality once again. He takes it all back. He takes all doubt of remembering back. It was all worth it, if he was able to remember what he had with Maya because remembering her are the best parts of his day and looking back, the best parts of his life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_November 2018_

Lucas was exhausted and enraged. He’d started working at a clinic five months ago, so he could leave the confines of his home and feel independent for once. While he lost all his memories, somehow none of the knowledge he gained from the countless hours of studying for final exams and vet school were lost. Something the doctors described as being able to retain semantic memories but not episodic memories. But just because he had the knowledge of a veterinarian didn’t mean he had the focus of one. One minute, everything is fine. He’s checking a dog’s paw for a thorn. The next, he’s dealing with a piercing headache or remembering a moment from his childhood.

After a long day of standing on his feet and dealing with troublesome clients, he often found himself back in a bar, attempting to drink his problems away. It only worked for a couple hours, and he knew after the buzz wore off, reality would come crashing down, but it was better than nothing. But tonight, as much as he wanted to submerge himself in intoxicating liquids, he didn’t bother, knowing the alcohol would only amplify his throbbing headache. In fact, the pounding bass, mass of moving bodies tossing him around, and odor of vomit was only making it worse.

He wormed his way through the crowd and left the bar. It was chilly out, but in the rural parts of Texas, they didn’t have the luxury of yellow cabs at every turn. He shoved his hands in his pockets and began his trek home. Suddenly, the sound of a horn pierced through the air, as a car screeched to a halt and swerved around Lucas. Stupid drunk drivers…

 _Lucas had a bit too much to drink that night, and the night before, and in fact, the months before. He thought leaving Maya wouldn’t be this painful, as long as he kept telling and convincing himself it was for her. She was better off without him. But who was he kidding. He knew leaving her was going to hurt like hell, and if he had known leaving Maya would’ve been_ this _hard, he never would’ve left. But he did. And Maya was never going to forgive him, especially after two and a half years of silence. So, he found himself at the bar every night, having too much to drink._

_It was supposed to be their four-year anniversary, but instead, he was celebrating in a bar. Alone. Everything was numb, and the buzz of alcohol definitely wasn’t helping. Three shots too many later, he found himself wasted, attempting to tell the bartender his tragic love story and slurring through his words. Zay had come to pick him up, and he was waiting in the car across the street._

_Zay should’ve went in himself. He should’ve crossed the street to help Lucas. He should’ve, he should’ve, he should’ve._

_A few stumbles forward, and Lucas was in the middle of the street. Of course, he didn’t look both ways. He’s wasted. And before he could see the bright lights flashing, he hears the screech of the brakes and the honk of the horn. All he felt was nothing at the impact. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was that this pain didn’t compare to losing Maya. But as he flew through the air, with shards of glass piercing and cutting his skin, it was all numb, and when he hit the ground, it went black._

He crumpled to the ground. He really didn’t want to remember anymore. It wasn’t worth it anymore. He begged and begged for himself to stop crying, but the tears and sobs kept wracking his body. He’s never felt so _weak._ He doesn’t know when it started raining or when Zay wrapped his arms around him, but this feeling of pain and grief wasn’t worth it.

_“Hey, look at me. Look at me, Lucas. Strong as a horse, right? That’s who you are. No one can take that away from you. Not me, not anyone, and especially not your dumbass father. Just because he’s waltzed back in your life doesn’t mean he controls you anymore. You’re the only person who decides who you are. Not some bullshit comment your father decides to make about your life. So chin up, and show that son of a bitch who you are because to me, you’re Lucas Friar. Strong as a horse.”_

_“I love you, Maya Hart,” he thought, “so much.”_

Strong as a horse.

_December 2018_

It was his last day of work before the holiday, and it was an extremely slow morning, with no clients or patients in sight. He sat at his desk swirling and swirling his coffee around, watching the foam slowly dissolve back into the liquid and allowing the steam to escape the piping hot drink. It was mesmerizing, watching it twirl around the cup, almost hypnotic…

_“What do you mean you’re going back to Texas?”_

_Lucas couldn’t bear to look Maya in the eye, and instead, glared at the coffee in his hands, trying to blink away his tears. He had stupidly asked Maya to meet him at Topanga’s after hours, out of habit. But he hadn’t realized it’d mark the beloved café with excruciating memories of what’ll happen._

_“You’re going back to Texas in three days? So, you’re breaking up with me? Am I not enough to make you stay? Is long distance not an option?” Maya snapped. She wasn’t having any of this bullshit, and she really didn’t believe him. It was some sick prank right?_

_“It’s time. I came to New York for a fresh start, and now it’s time to return. New York was never supposed to be permanent.” A lie.  Lucas really hoped Maya couldn’t hear his voice quiver. If he was really going to leave, he had to show he was absolutely set on his decision._

_“But that was before you knew we’d meet… And y- you_ promised _you’d never leave,” Maya broke. Her voice killed him, it broke him. But his decision was already made._

_“I’m sorry Maya. I lo-”_

_“Don’t. Just go.”_

When he opened his eyes, he didn’t know what he hated more, himself or the memory. How could he just _leave_ her? A scholarship was no excuse, because their relationship was worth so much more.

_January, 2019_

“Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year’s!”

Zay dragged Lucas to one of those stupid New Year’s parties, and he was just not having it. His memories were mostly back, and he was grateful, nonetheless. But what they really made him realize was how much he _hated_ the person he was in Texas before and how much he _hated_ himself for leaving the only person that made him feel proud of himself. Delinquent, Texas Lucas was no match for Ranger Rick, Sundance Huckleberry, and he left that all behind the moment he walked out of Topanga’s.

He sat there on the bench, looking at the empty void, wishing for Maya’s presence, but she was in New York, and he was in Texas. So, he was alone at New Year’s, probably how he’d wound up for the year.

_“This spot taken?”_

_“I was saving it.”_

_“For who?”_

_“I don’t know, anymore.” A lie, it’s for you, Maya._

_“Hey, Lucas? Have I ever said anything nice to you?”_

_“No…” Another lie._

_“Well, it’s one minute to midnight, and I’m glad you’re standing here.”_

_It’s true what they say, whoever you’re with at midnight is who you’ll be with for the year._

Maybe she wasn’t physically there, but his thought of her had to count for something, right? Because half way across the country, Maya was reminiscing of the same memory.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 1:04 pm April 8, 2018_

To: lucasfriar99@gmail.com

Subject: my world

Lucas,

wow, you’re right emails are formal.

huckleberry,

it’s been a couple days since you left back to texas, and i really hope you’re doing ok. i really meant what i said, it was too much for me to do, and perhaps it was a little selfish of me to send you away, but you always told me to stop worrying about others and focus on myself a little. so, i admit it. i was selfish, but so were you. because you left me, when you said you never would, and you never even gave me a choice. i didn’t take the scholarship because it didn’t feel right.

you left thinking that it would give me the opportunity to make the world mine.

what you didn’t know was **_it wouldn’t be my world without you in it_ ** _._

bottom line is, we were both selfish, and honestly? a little dumb. i scheduled this to arrive a year from now, and hopefully we’re both in a better place. we’ve figured out more things about our paths, and maybe you’ll have your memories back? i don’t know if I’m being too hopeful, but riley always encourages me to have hope. so I’m not letting go of it, because i just got it.

i don’t know how this year will pan out for you and me, but i do hope the best for you, because you deserve the world after the year you’ve had. and hopefully, we can give a shot at us again? i might be stepping out too far, but i sure as hell know i never stopped loving you, and i never will stop. spending all this time with you made me realize how much i missed your presence and you. so it might be cheesy, but i’ll be waiting. you know where to find me.

as always,

your shortstack of pancakes

Courtesy of _Letters to the Future,_ bringing back the art of timeless letters.

_received 1:04 pm April 8, 2019_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_sent 2:22 pm March 21, 2018_

To: mayahart@gmail.com

Subject: Letters to the Future

Maya Hart,

This is a confirmation of the delivery of your email to Lucas Friar on April 8, 2019, created on April 8, 2018. Thank you for using our service, and we hope to _bring back the art of timeless letters_.

Lucas,

wow, you’re right emails are formal.

huckleberry,

it’s been a couple days since you left back to texas, and i really hope you’re doing ok. i really meant what i said, it was too much for me to do, and perhaps it was a little selfish of me to send you away, but you always told me to stop worrying about others and focus on myself a little. so, i admit it. i was selfish, but so were you. because you left me, when you said you never would, and you never even gave me a choice. i didn’t take the scholarship because it didn’t feel right.

you left thinking that it would give me the opportunity to make the world mine.

what you didn’t know was **_it wouldn’t be my world without you in it_ ** _._

bottom line is, we were both selfish, and honestly? a little dumb. i scheduled this to arrive a year from now, and hopefully we’re both in a better place. we’ve figured out more things about our paths, and maybe you’ll have your memories back? i don’t know if I’m being too hopeful, but riley always encourages me to have hope. so I’m not letting go of it, because i just got it.

i don’t know how this year will pan out for you and me, but i do hope the best for you, because you deserve the world after the year you’ve had. and hopefully, we can give a shot at us again? i might be stepping out too far, but i sure as hell know i never stopped loving you, and i never will stop. spending all this time with you made me realize how much i missed your presence and you. so it might be cheesy, but i’ll be waiting. you know where to find me.

as always,

your shortstack of pancakes

Sincerely,

Letters to the Future

_received 1:04 pm April 8, 2019_

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

_April, 2019_

Somehow, in the middle of April, it was still freezing in New York, and Maya was taking her sweet, sweet time to unlock her window. The moment he saw that letter, all he had on his mind was _Maya, Maya, Maya,_ and now, 24 hours later, he found himself freezing his ass off on Maya’s fire escape.

Maya swiftly unlocked the window and let him into her room. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

“Aren’t you a little ways from a rodeo, Huckleberry? What, Texas too hillbilly for you, so you’re crawling back to New York?”

“No. I’m crawling back to you, Maya.”

“That’s not how we play this game.”

“Well, there _was_ this whole amnesia thing, so maybe I just forgot, and you’ll just have to teach me again. Or, maybe I’m tired of this little dance we do, and I just want you, again.”

“If I had known you’d be this sappy, Huckleberry, I never would have dated you.”

“Hey, I call it my Texan, hillbilly charm. But in all seriousness, I really did come half way across the country just to see you. Because, yes I know I was selfish, and yes I know I was an idiot. And I know there aren’t enough apologies for me to make up for anything, but shit, Maya, this year has been unbelievably hard, and the only thing that kept me from breaking were memories of you. God, if anything this year has taught me how much I fucking love you, and I don’t know if I can survive without you, whether it’s just as friends or something more, I don’t care. I just… I just _need_ you.”

“Huckleberry, oh Huckleberry. You’ve always been such a Huckleberry.”

In that moment, Maya grasped his collar, like she’s done dozens of times before, and pulled him down to meet her lips. This time, their kiss wasn’t like the time at the camp fire. It was practiced, familiar, like two old souls coming reuniting after an eternity.

_May, 2019_

It had been a hectic month, with Lucas moving back to New York. He searched around for a job at a clinic in Greenwich Village and packed up his apartment in Texas. Though stressful with the move, Lucas was unbelievably happy back in New York, with Maya by his side every step of the way.

They had quickly fallen back into rhythm, with Maya working in her studio and Lucas in the clinic. They’d meet for lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sometimes, Maya would be too caught up in a painting, and Lucas would have to bring takeout to remind her to eat. It was easy, comfortable, and Lucas wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Hey, Ranger Rick, I forgot you tell you something,” Maya called out to Lucas across the room, as she rummaged through some papers.

“Kick your own ass for me,” she muttered, as she shoved a crumpled piece of paper. He unfolded it and saw one line clearly highlighted in pink from his letter he’d sent so many years ago: _when you’re reading this, we better be married or else i’m kicking my own ass._

“Are you implying something, Hart?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” she shrugged, popping into the kitchen to grab something to snack on.

Lucas shoved his hands into his pocket, tumbling a tiny, velvet box around with his fingers. He’d planned something big, hoping to light up the slide with candles and roses at their spot on the yellow slide beneath the red roof, but they’d never been ones for large declarations of love. That was more of a Riley thing. Instead, they were more about in the moment, impulsive actions.

Maya grabbed an apple from the fridge and turned around to see the one and only Lucas Friar down on one knee, holding a blue, velvet box. Four little words, answered by one, three lettered word.

Yes.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! and leave some kudos
> 
> i originally posted this on my tumblr and converted it to ao3 format, so check me out!!  
> @mayahqrt on tumblr


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